One day my mom hears there's gonna be a Chip n' Dale special on TV. So she plops me on the couch in front of the TV and goes into another room to clean or something. I think I'm about three years old (Mom will have to confirm).
She comes back into the room to check on me and sure enough, there on the TV are the Chippendale dancers (not Chip and Dale chipmunks) shaking their groove thangs. Mom turns off the TV and explains she was mistaken. There will be no Chip n' Dale special. Sorry, Natalie.
Well, Mom, after 25 years guess what show I finally got to see live and in person?
Amanda called me from work last week to say they were offering free tickets for everyone who works at Le Reve (she works in wardrobe). Not only were they free tickets, but they were VIP. We both had no idea what to expect. I kept hoping it would be like that SNL sketch with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze.
It wasn't too far off except for the fact that the guys were ripped. It's hard to find the words to explain it. There was so much dancing and lip syncing. It was like the Mickey Mouse Club meets The Village People meets hot gay men meets a Backstreet Boys music video meets a really weird dream you might have after eating burritos late at night. In other words, it was awesome.
And the crowd was bizarre. Our Le Reve group was fun and making the effort to cheer and scream and have a good time. But the rest of the audience looked like a book club for middle-aged women with terrible haircuts. They were like statues. Not a peep! Weird.
At one point the guys came down and danced with the crowd. One guy handed me the mic and I got to sing a line from "Hot in Herre" (cuz they were dressed as firemen, isn't that clever?) so technically, I performed in Vegas with Chippendales.
This picture has a story. I salvaged it from all the other pictures I was forced to delete. After the show, you could go onstage and get your picture taken with the dancers (15 bucks for a polariod). Amanda and I decided to just pose with our free posters and have the Chippendales guys in the background. Immediately, a security guard comes over.
"You have to delete those," he says. "You can't take pictures in here."
"Sorry," we say, "We didn't know we--"
"Are you retarded?! We announced it earlier."
"Oh okay. No problem. We can delete--"
"Why are you making my job so difficult?!"
So we delete the pics, and he leaves us alone.
"Did he just call us retarded?"
We giggled all the way to the Chippendales Flirt Lounge where we discovered you can mingle with the guys and take pictures for free (probably because they have their clothes on).
Actually, we're about 107% sure they are all gay. They seemed more interested in talking with their boyfriends than flirting with the gals. They were friendly enough to take pics and sign posters. I asked the guy above if his picture was on my poster. He said no.
"Oh, you know what you should do?" I joked. "You should turn it over to the back and then sketch a picture of you like a stick figure or something funny and then sign that since--"
"Here." He had already signed the front next to some other guy's pic. What's with everyone cutting me off? After that Amanda and I took pictures where it looked like we were grabbing their butts. Well, I pretended. I think Amanda might actually have done it.